i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
