if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
you never un-have a 4some
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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