Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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