it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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