Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
