he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize