good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
