Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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