It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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