It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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