Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Are my feet made of real feet?
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
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