the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
After tacos, we're chasing women.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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