Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize