So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
