Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
