So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
