He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She tied me up with her honor cords...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
