Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
