At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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