'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
