my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
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