So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Are we still banned from the library?
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
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