So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Randomize
