Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
