Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
