I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I said "one day" and that day is not today
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
