but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
