tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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