i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
