im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize