Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
