i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Randomize
