I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
