If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Randomize
