I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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