There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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