I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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