Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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