i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
