I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
