all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
