Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
