sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
