so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
