I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
