Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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