had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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