Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
