WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
