I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
