I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
