susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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