You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
