I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
