I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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