capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Randomize