i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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