Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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