if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I know her cup size but not her name....
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
