The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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