Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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