we're blogging at a bar
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
