Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
