im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
