I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I enjoy the company of your penis
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