I think scott just propositioned me for sex
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize