Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
