do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
